K5000 Results for Jan 23, 2004

 

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The Kayfabulator 5000 Results for the Week Ending 1/23/04

"English!" - Vincent Kennedy McMahon
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Original Quote: "Pat McNeill's 2003 Timeline: The One With all the Funerals" - Front page story headline of the Pro Wrestling Torch #793

K5000 Translation: "Our watered down, weaker version of what Bryan Alvarez kicks so much ass with in the Figure Four Weekly~!"
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Original Quote: "Observers noted there were about 50 ICP fans (a/k/a Juggalos) at last week's show based on the rumor that ICP would be appearing, which may have swayed TNA officials to book the duo as babyfaces." - Pro Wrestling Torch #793, NWA-TNA Newswire.

K5000 Translation: "Sadly, this says it all for TNA, doesn't it? No time for real talent, because we desperately need 50 people to order/possibly buy a ticket to see two guys who wear out their welcome very, very quickly."
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Original Quote: "The reactions to the prospects of him (Johnny "Fairplay" Dalton) joining has been negative, as there is jealousy and resentment that he would get a deal based on his conduct during 'Survivor'." - Pro Wrestling Torch #793, NWA-TNA Newswire.

K5000 Translation: "The reactions to the prospects of him (Johnny "Fairplay" Dalton) joining has been negative, as there is jealousy and resentment that he would get a deal based on his conduct during 'Survivor,' and not questionable and/or bad behavior in and around the wrestling business such as Roddy Piper, Lex Luger or Scott Hall."
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Original Quote: "Lou Thesz/Ric Flair Award (Wrestler of the Year): Kenta Kobashi (531 first place votes)" - 2003 Year end awards, Wrestling Observer Newsletter, January 19, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "Interesting totals, considering the approximate number of fans that actually saw more than one Kobashi match this year is around 100 tops."
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Original Quote: "Tag Team of the Year: Naomichi Marufuji & KENTA (482 first place votes)" - 2003 Year end awards, Wrestling Observer Newsletter, January 19, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "See above translation, but change 100 to about 50."
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Original Quote: "Rookie of the Year, 6th place: Alex Shelley (6 first place votes)" - 2003 Year end awards, Wrestling Observer Newsletter, January 19, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "Who?"
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Original Quote: "Special thanks to... Keith Lipinski... Doron Barbalot... Mike Sempervive..." - Special thanks section, Wrestling Observer Newsletter, January 19, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "These guys always get thanked in the Observer, yet all write for the PWTorch.com website and never see a thanks. Not even the Kayfabulator 5000 has figured out that one yet."
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Original Quote: "...The Great Negotiator is apparently (Jason) Powell’s nickname at Torch Towers (and this stemmed from an old incident in the LOUNGE when Gregg Allinson was caught by Mallory Mahling in a panty raid and she threatened to leave the Torch if the former Tales From The Scross guy wasn’t tarred and feathered) and Jason worked his magic again. I’m back to SmackDown Express and Cheap Pops~! while Wade agreed to send me at least one email every calendar year." - Derek Burgan, the proprietor of this very site, explaining in his SmackDown Express V2.1 why he returned after a two-week hiatus, January 15, 2003.

K5000 Translation: "I sold out. I sold out. I sold out."
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Original Quote: "The much talked about supposedly huge USA Today story feature on the pro wrestling lifestyle, history and high death rate, is scheduled for 2/2." - Wrestling Observer Newsletter, January 19, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "Yahtzee!"
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Original Quote: "36. Mr. T is the greatest actor of our time." - A countdown during Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network, January 18, 2004.

K5000 Translation: "Hard to argue with his body of work. Anybody see him on that one episode of the Howard Stern Show on E!? Good stuff."

 

Copyright © 2005 Derek Burgan. All rights reserved.