Hi again my friends, I am back with another installment of the DOI 250 Breakdown and analysis. We here at
GumGod.com will provide you with the most in depth, analytical, insider, intricate details of the top 250 Wrestlers in the Northeast. Ah, who am I kidding? I am going to give you some names and some
comments on them and my editor in chief, Mr. Derek Burgan is going to comment on my comments. If you are a first time reader and are wondering why I wrote DOI 250 when I am starting at number 225, go back and read my previous column, stupid. Otherwise, enjoy the column and the next 25 in the batch of Indy workers.
224) Mayhem - I Recently saw Mayhem in action at an AWA show in NJ. He fought against budding "superstar" Pinkie Sanchez in a lightweight match. Showed
a lot of abilities in the match and with some work (and a definite outfit change as he looks like the prototype for no name indy guy) he can have a bright year this year and move up the list.
223) Laithon a.k.a. The Tower of Torture - Laithon had not worked much last year however towards the end picked up his bookings and worked a few shows. Horrible rating in my eyes as Laithon is one of the best Indy workers around, especially for a man of his size. For those who do not know, Laithon was the co-trainer of the LEGENDARY DOGHOUSE in Brooklyn New York. The head trainer? None other than Homicide. Together they have trained several of the names on this list. A virtual who's who on the Indy scene have worked out or been trained by Laithon and Homicide. That is why I am perplexed on why Homicide is one of the best Indy workers on the planet and Laithon is number 223. He definitely needs to get booked on more shows and get more exposure cause this guy can go.
222) Pinky Sanchez - a rookie makes the list at 222. Pinky has basically been in the AWA in New Jersey. Now before Burgan chimes in with his Verne Gagne/Nick Bockwinkel jokes, let me explain. AWA is a wrestling school in New Jersey which over the past few months has picked up a lot of steam to become a virtual stomping grounds for Indy workers to go train. They run bi-weekly shows in their little school which draw about 100 people per show. Anyway, Pinky is one of their prized students. He has an "effeminate" gimmick. Although not on par with the Christopher Street Connection's gimmick (more on them later), he is talented in the ring. For someone with little ring experience, he has shown that he is improving and can work a solid match with people. If he gets more bookings, expect this young man to make the top 50 next year. (Burgan’s Notes: Oh man, how can you not book this guy with his brother “Dirty Sanchez”? Can you imagine the stuff Vince Russo could do with that team?)
221) Bandito Jr. - Can't say that I have seen much of him last year however I have seen him work prior to last year. Bandito Jr. (son of Indy worker Bandito) impressed me when I saw him in the ring. An excellent high flyer/cruiserweight. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't work much outside of one fed in NJ. But when he does work there, The UWA, he usually gets put in matches with other high flyers and shows his skill.
220) AC Smooth - I am happy that this man is finally on the list. He was one of my trainers when I entered wrestling and is now a trainer at the AWA school in NJ. AC is a solid hand in the ring. Doesn't have what it takes to make a huge name for himself on the Indies, however he can definitely be a solid addition to any independent promotion. He is the equivalent of Al Snow or Lance Storm in the WWE. He won't ever get a main event push anywhere (other than the AWA) but if you want a rookie to get over in a match with a veteran, call AC cause he will deliver and get him over.
219) Greg Spitz - I am not sure if he is related to Mark Spitz. Either way, don't know who he is but I am glad he is Spitz and not Swallows.
218) Johnny "The Bison" Bravado - Bison has what it takes to be a solid all around worker. He is underutilized however since he has quickly become typecast. See, Bison, who was also trained by Homicide and is one of his last students, was being used all the time in Royal Rumbles and Gauntlet matches. He, like the Motivator, got stuck in a hardcore blood bath match with Lowlife Louie Ramos. Since then, most promoters who book him decide to use him in hardcore matches which isn't very fair to the Bi-San since he can work a regular match. Hopefully that will change in 2004-05 cause he definitely can be an asset to any promotion he works for. Spent most of his year in USA Pro & WXW however he did work a "dark match" in Ring of Honor. (Burgan’s Notes: Lowlife Louie can actually be seen in a ROH tape as well. He is one of the nameless guys who comes in at the end only to be opened up by Abdulluh the Butcher at Night of the Butcher. You can’t miss Louie, he’s the one with seemingly six gallons of blood pouring out of him.)
217) "The Arsonist" Tim Arson - A student of the legendary Johnny Rodz. Arson would/could be higher on this list if it wasn't for two reasons. 1) He doesn't work much outside of USA Pro. He has worked other shows, but not many. 2) He spent the last half of the year out with an injured neck he got while working a bootleg, unlicensed show against a green rookie who didn't know what he was doing. Arson has the tools to be a major player in wrestling in general due to his incredible physique. He, through Rodz, managed to get a private WWE tryout when they were in NY last year and worked with Fit Finley, Tom Pritchard and others. If Arson steps up his game and works more, he may be WWE bound someday but definitely higher on the list next year.
216) Alex Law - I know who he is but have never seen him work. Heard some good things about him though. (Burgan’s Notes: You’d think Matt would tell us what he’s heard…)
215) Ricky Landell - not related to Buddy Landell (that I know of) but a good worker nonetheless. I have only seen him once but he is a good worker that oozes potential. He should definitely be higher next year as long as he continues on his current path.
214) The Blue Meanie - The same Blue Meanie of ECW & WWF (E) fame. In my eyes, he is the ugly guy who bagged Jasmine St. Claire. He doesn't work outside of his own promotion, 3PW, that I know of. The plus side is that even though 3PW is his, he doesn't get pushed to the moon. The negative, he hasn't improved since his ECW/WWE days and if anything, his work has taken a step back. I find that odd since his physique has improved and he is no longer a fat slob. So I am going to say that this area is proper for him to be ranked in. (Burgan’s Notes: I actually met the Blue Meanie (along with Stevie Richards and Nova) at an ECW show in Revere, MA back in the day. Was the bWo one of the greatest concepts in wrestling or what?!)
213) Paul London - WTF?? Why is he ranked all the way down here? Well I will tell you. Cause he didn't wrestle much on the Indies last year. He only did a few ROH shows and then got signed with WWE. So what is good for him (making money in the E) is bad for us since we don't get to see him much anymore since he was sent to Velocity purgatory until recently. (Burgan’s Notes: Before I knew who Paul London was, I heard he was signed by the WWE and was going to appear on SmackDown. When London finally appeared on the show I thought to myself, “What is the big deal about this guy?” Months later, when I started to watch Ring of Honor shows, I realized just how badly the WWE screwed up a major talent right from the start. He should have come into the company and pushed to the moon in the cruiserweight division but instead he was jobbed out to Brock Lesnar in his first night and went on to become a jobber in Velocity Hell.)
212) Guillotine LeGrande - One of the funniest characters in the business. I don't know him personally but his shtick with Steve Corino are priceless. His work has a lot to be desired but on the stick, he has it. Should be in the area that he is, no scratch that, just to stick it to Burgan, LeGrande should be here at 212. No higher, no lower. EXACTLY at 212. (Burgan’s Notes: I actually think Guillotine LeGrande has one of the greatest names in the business and it boggles my mind why they keep trying to throw the name “Chuck LeGrande” in there occasionally. LeGrande’s stuff during the Steve Corino/Homicide feud in ROH show just how valuable a manager can be in wrestling today.)
211) Marty Jannetty - He hasn't been on the Indy's much but in the matches he has wrestled at the NYWC (New York Wrestling Connection) have been good. For a man well into his 40's, he still works hard and does the small things right. Looks older than he is and a lot slower than his prime. Doesn't look like there are too many years left in his career as age and lord knows what else seem to be catching up. (Burgan’s Notes: Jannetty has also recently found religion as he was “Born Again” with none other than former tag team partner Shawn Michaels in attendance. I have no idea what they do at these ceremonies though and I hope to god they didn’t invite Scott Hall as he would surely spike the Holy Water as some sort of rib. How come no wrestlers ever convert to Jehovah Witnesses? I think that would be a blast if Bushwhacker Luke or Kamala delivered The Watch Tower to my door.)
210) Chino Martinez - Solid worker. Have only seen him once so I can't go into detail on where he is or should be.
209) "Lone star" Dustin Runnels - The man formerly known as Goldust in the WWE. I do not recall him wrestling on the East Coast but I do know he is a good worker. I am perplexed as to why he isn't getting more bookings (costing too much maybe??) cause he is a very good worker. He can definitely have some solid matches with those in the upper echelon of this list. I hope he works more shows this year and moves up the list. (Burgan’s Notes: Apparently Matt’s been knocking back some 40 oz’s because every sober person knows Dustin Runnels sucks donkey balls in the ring. Although I would like to see that
wacky Se7en gimmick brought back…)
208) Mozart Fontaine - Who? Don't know him and can't comment on him. (Burgan’s Notes: Something tells me the DOI guys couldn’t come up with 250 guys and just started making up names hoping no one would notice. Remember that this guy “Mozart” is ahead of Paul London…)
207) Chief Dudley - I assume he is one of Daddy Dudley's several Dudley boys. Don't know who he is. If he is a Dudley, he has to be good. I don't think this is Dances With Dudley's of ECW fame. If so, then I remember being ok but then again, it was years ago. Who knows?
206) Dan Da Man - Know of him but have never seen him. Heard good things. Maybe he is good. Maybe not.
205) Joey Knight - I'll pass on him, never heard of him.
204) Johnny Ova - I have actually worked with him in the ring and he is a good worker. Haven't heard of him much lately and towards the end of last year. Not sure why. If he works more often he definitely would be higher on the list. He is young and works hard.
203) Sexy Monkey - You have to be kidding me? Is this a rib? Someone is actually named Sexy Monkey? I have never heard of this dude and if it is not a rib and that is his actual name, dude, if you are reading this, change the name. It is horrible.
202) Ricky Reyes - One half of the Havana Pit Bulls. I had heard the name and heard good things so I went out of my way to get a recent match of them (not a match from last year, but a recent 2004 match) JESUS H. CHRIST is all I can say. Let me put it this way, imagine getting a kick to the back from Low-Ki. Did you picture that? Now imagine getting a Low-Ki kick to the back from someone who weight about 50 pounds more than Low-Ki. Got that? Not multiply that by 2 since there are 2
Pit Bulls. OW!!!!!! Ricky and his partner are going to dominate the tag team scene in 2004. I fully expect the, to be in the top 25 next year. They are 2 young up and comers from California and work solid. So solid that they are now in main events of Ring of Honor after only a few shows, now aligned with Homicide. (Burgan’s Notes: The Havana
Pit Bulls recently won the ROH tag team titles and I’m hoping for a feud with the Briscoe Brothers because they are two of the freshest tag teams in the business.)
201) Rocky Romero - See Above.
200) Ariel - Finally, the first female to make the list. Plusses and minuses on Ariel: The plus is that she is easily one of the best, hardest working women's wrestler on the Indies. She listens and soaks up information like a sponge and works hard to make her opponents look good. The bad news? She is a small, petite
woman and with that small frame, won't make it past the Indies to the WWE. She is a short girl and probably barely reaches 100lbs. I feel bad cause if you can imagine a women with the heart of Trish Stratus but the frame of a teen and you got Ariel. What makes it ever worse is that she has a
great body. Nice rack and nice backyard with a pretty face. (Burgan’s Notes: WHERE
ARE THE F---ING PICS, APONTE?!!! Oh, wait, here's one...)
All righty folks, this weeks installment of the Breakdown of the DOI Top 250 is a wrap. Mr. Burgan and I will be back next week with another in depth, ESPN-like breakdown of the list as we start to move into the 100's.
And don't forget to check out www.declarationofindependents.net.
So for John Madden, I'm Al Michaels.....um, I mean for Derek Burgan, I'm Matt Aponte. Matt OUT!!!!
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