DOI "Top 250" Part 3

 

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Hello, GumGod fans, you should know me by now but since I graduated from the Derek Burgan school of self promoting (thanks Dusty), and now have my doctorate in Burganomics, I will introduce myself again since I love reading & hearing my name. My name is Matt Aponte a.k.a. Matt Dawgs, Da Infamous Angry Young Man and you are reading my BULLSHIT in-depth insider breakdown on the Declaration of Independents (www.declarationofindependents.net) top 250 Wrestlers in the Northeast Independent Circuit. If you are new here and want to catch up, hit the back button on your browser and read my 250-200. Once you are done, come back here and finish up.

Today, we are going to blatantly steal borrow Mr. Derek Burgan's gimmick and have wrestling writer extraordinaire Vince Russo share his thoughts with my on the independent wrestling circuit's top names. As you all know fully well, Russo is “single handedly” responsible for making Vince McMahon a billionaire along with starting NWA TNA off “right” with gimmicks such as The Johnsons and “a midget beatin’ off in a garbage can.” So without further adieu, here we go....

doi_poolboy.jpg (39672 bytes)199) Japanese Pool Boy - a very fan friendly gimmick that draws lots of attention and lots of laughs. I can't really argue with this placing on the list as he deserves to be in this area of talent. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Sorry Aponte, I couldn't disagree more. Japs have no place in wrestling. Neither do Mexicans. All they are good for is doing flips and jumping around. Instead, I would have this pool boy be a California pool boy. That way, we can put him in a feud with any wrestler we want by claiming that while the wrestler was out making money and touring for his family, the California Pool Boy was cleaning his pool and slept with his wife. Cheating on your spouse = MONEY!!!!)

doi_bambam.jpg (27730 bytes)198) Bam Bam Bigelow - a very low rating but understandably so. Bam Bam has only wrestled a handful of shows in the past year due to recent back surgery. By the time this comes to print, Bigelow would have already wrestled his "last" match and is currently in retirement. But this is wrestling, so you can pretty much plan a comeback. It is real unfortunate that a guy who headlined WrestleMania is now number 198 on an independent wrestling list but it happens. In the matches he was involved in, he did deliver however and showed that he still had a fire for wrestling. It was just his body that couldn't keep up. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Bigelow was never much of a draw. The only time he was a draw was with Lawrence Taylor. So why not go with what works, no? Can you guys imagine an independent best of 7 series featuring Bigelow vs. Taylor? They can work plenty of local Indy feds and feud throughout the country. To lead up to it, you can have Bam Bam show up at NFL training camps and lay out several up and coming football stars. Imagine Bigelow hitting "Greetings From Asbury Park" on Michael Vick at a Falcon's practice? Or how about Bigelow invading the Colts and cracking Peyton Manning with a steel chair? That infuriates Taylor and he goes out to seek revenge…)

doi_maniac.jpg (26165 bytes)197) The Masked Maniac - the right hand man of USA Pro Wrestling promoter Frank Goodman. Goodman doesn't make decisions without the Maniac and vice versa. It is a bit odd that no one sees these two men at the same place at the same time. Kind of like the President & the Vice President. I think it is for security reasons. Anyway, the Maniac sucks. Plain and simple. His matches are horrible and usually involve him squashing someone. However, he is gifted behind the mic and usually manages to get laughs out of the crowd. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Now we're onto something. A Masked Wrestler. How bout this, The Masked Maniac is really a different person every week. We find an Indy world champion and have this Masked Wrestler claim to be from the champ's past. He can just do promos in an digitized voice saying, " Hey , remember " Then a different Masked Maniac can attack him per show until he is eventually unmasked to reveal himself as, THE PROMOTER OF THE FED!!!!!!.)

doi_muta.jpg (19909 bytes)196) The Great Muta - The man is a legend and only wrestled two Indy shows last year. But that was big enough. Muta = Asses In Seats. Period. He came to Ring of Honor and was treated by the fans like he was Hulk Hogan in 1985. It was an incredible sight and an honor to have him here in the states. If Muta ever wrestles in the states again, make sure you go see him. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Who? I always get confused between him, Taka, Funaki, Kaz, Sonny Ono, Yamaguchi-san, & Mr. Fuji. They all look the same to me. Besides, what has Muta ever done for wrestling? Has he ever created a move as exciting as The Rock Bottom? How about the Fame-ASSer? I think not. Let’s give the devil their do and talk about American wrestlers baby, you know, the ones who really matter.)

195) Yoshito Sasaki - I didn't get to see him but I hear he was as over as Muta at the ROH show. The All Japan guys need to come to the States at least once a year. Especially if ROH uses them. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: See above. When are we going to talk turkey baby. Turkey....hmmm, is anyone else thinking Gobbledy Gooker 3000 might make a good TNA X champ?)

doi_shocker.jpg (9382 bytes)194) Shocker - A luchador from California who wrestled in New York several times last year as XPW wrestler Slash decided to run lucha shows called LXW here on the East Coast. Shocker looked to be talented and managed to put on some decent lucha matches here in NY. It was cool to have something different out here. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Aponte, this is ridiculous. I thought you were bringing me here to discuss wrestling and possible angles. Who cares about midgets doing back flips? Where are the swerves baby? Let's discuss Indy wrestler A badmouthing the dead father of Indy wrestler B? Or how bout some pregnancy angles? Let's get serious Aponte. If you keep screwing me around, I might not do any more work for GumGod.)

doi_halloween.jpg (29040 bytes)193) Halloween - Not only did he work for LXW last year but he did work some USA Pro shows as well. The USA Pro showings didn't go as well as hoped due to some miscommunication between him, his partner and their opponents. Is a talented individual however and is expected back on the Indy's later this year or early next year. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Jesus, if we are going to continue using luchadors then I might as well comment. Halloween.....Ah, I think I can do something with this midge...um...Mexican. How bout some cross promotion action. Instead of his usual gimmick, we can try to get Jamie Lee Curtis to fly in and manage whoever Halloween is feuding with. That way, it could be like Jamie Lee used to be the baby sitter of Halloween when he was a kid but now he is a stalker who is after her? I am a genius aren't I? Or get this, he teams with a heel group called The Unpaid Holidaze with guys such as GroundHog’s Day, St. Patrick, and Jewish cruiserweight champ Hannukah. Man, am I on a roll today or what?!)

doi_damien.jpg (32484 bytes)192) Damien 666 - Halloween's tag team partner. See above. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: I like the name so he must be good. And even if he isn't, so what? No one cares about actual in ring wrestling anymore. What people want to see is mind boggling storylines. How bout this? Halloween is about to attack Jaime Lee Curtis when Damien 666 turns on Halloween and makes the save. But....on the next show, as Halloween and Damien are about to face off in their match, Damien 666 turns on Jaime Lee Curtis. But....on the next show, Jaime Lee brings in a team (the Unpaid Holidaze) to feud with them and Damien 666 turns on Halloween again and joins Jaime Lee and her team. As they are celebrating over a beaten Halloween, Damien 666 and Jaime Lee turn on the team!!!! GREATNESS!!)

191) Lamar Braxton Porter - I know nothing about him. Heard the name but don't know who he is. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Well if Aponte doesn't know who he is, I definitely don't. But....how bout we do this, we take someone talented with a crappy name and gimmick on the Indies and just give him the name Lamar Braxton Porter? To make it even better, have one of the stupid luchadors unmask and name him Lamar Braxton Porter. Then you know who he is?)

190) Nick Noshus - Who? (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Who?)

189) The Patriot - Now old time fans may remember this man as the man who once main evented a WWF Pay Per View against Bret Hart. Unfortunately, that man was Del Wilkes. This Patriot is Tom Brandi also known as Salvatore Sincere from his WWF days. Brandi purchased the rights off of Wilkes who owned them and has managed to use the gimmick on the Indies. On most Indy shows, Brandi wrestles one match at the Patriot and one as himself. I wonder if he gets two paydays for that? Anyway, I enjoyed Wilkes as the Patriot more than I do Brandi. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Ok, so here we got this guy proclaiming to be an American patriot, that is why no one will expect him to unmask, since we don't really like masked wrestlers and they all should be unmasked eventually, and then once he removes the mask, we can have him be AN AL QAEDA SYMPATHIZER!!!! No one will see it coming. Everyone will hate him. We can change his name to the UNPATRIOT!!!! That has money written all over it.)

188) Rob Vegas - The name has nothing to do with Las Vegas. And if it does, then he is doing a horrible job at showing it. He is decent but I don't expect him to break into the top 100 next year. Has potential though but still a long way to go, he’s a rich man’s Vincent Verhei, if you know what I mean. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Everyone has potential Aponte. Even though some guys don't have "it" I can make them stars. Look at the stars that I have created over the years. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, Kane, Mick Foley, Jeff Jarrett, Booker T, Scott Steiner. The list is endless. So if you think for one second I can't make Rob Vegas a star, you are crazy. He already has the name and with that name, we can create a backstory. Rob Vegas, son of Vinny Vegas. We can then book a Kevin Nash vs. Rob Vegas a.k.a. Rob Nash, Kevin's illegitimate son.)

doi_luschious.jpg (34291 bytes)187) Simply Luscious - Another woman finally on the list. It is about time. Luscious is a fantastic athlete. The first female graduate from the Shawn Michael's Texas Wrestling Academy. She trained and broke into the business with American Dragon, Spanky, Michael Shane & Shooter Shultz. Also got a lot of pointers from Steve Corino who she spent time with while in a relationship. If she has more matches on the indies soon, I fully expect her to be in the top 100 next year as she is solid in the ring and not too hard to look at either if you know what I mean. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Women don't belong on this list. Women don't belong in wrestling. What they do belong in are bra and panties matches and strutting around in skimpy lingerie. So since she is named Luscious, I assume she is hot. How bout we get an old indy promoter to be her father, maybe a Jim Cornette. Then we can have Luscious fall in love with someone in OVW wrestling like Matt from Tough Enough. As they are dating, a heel in the promotion, maybe Johnny Nitro, secretly marries her in a Las Vegas drive thru and then she turns heel on Jim Cornette and together she and Johnny take over OVW.)

186) Dover - a massive man who I once used to train with. He has the look to be a real star in this business. All he needs to do is work on his ring ability and fine tune it. I fully expect him to get more work as time goes on as he has the abilities to make a real name for himself on the indies if he works hard at it. Only works for the AWA in New Jersey right now but more feds will be coming this year. I guarantee it. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: A massive man huh? AWA huh? How bout this, I enjoy Big men just like the next guy. So we can have Dover squash nothing but cruiserweights all across the indy scene. No one likes cruiserweights anyway. Since he is squashing everyone, he will look like a monster. Then, since he works for the AWA, we can have Verne Gagne come in and complain. Dover will lay out Verne and end his career. His son Greg will do a run in to try and make the save which will also be futile. That will lead to the big event, a cross promotional deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers as they allow their closer, Eric Gagne come in and feud with Dover. Imagine all the publicity!!)

185) Ultra Mantis - Never heard of him. That says a lot since I pretty much have heard of almost everyone. I think this guy is a fake, phony, forgazey. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: So what? Like I said earlier, I can make anyone a star and someone that doesn't exist is no different. He can be a character who doesn't appear in front of the crowd. He can just make announcements over the PA system and throw out threats to wrestlers.)

184) Dylan Kage - A solid worker with a nice technical background. Only recently has he stepped up his in ring work to get better and try to move up. If he keeps the hard work up, next year you definitely will be hearing more about him. Guaranteed! (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Solid worker? How many times do I have to tell you. Working has nothing to do with Sports Entertainment. Look at all the guys I got over who don't know anything about working. Jeff Jarrett was A WORLD CHAMPION on my watch. The Same Jeff Jarrett that Steve Austin said wouldn't make it and was too small in stature to compete with him in the WWE. I make stars Matt, I can do the same with Dylan Kage.)

183) Red Hot Russ - Not to much to say about him. Ranked a little higher than I would have placed him. A solid worker but nothing to write home about. I can't see him moving much further up from here. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: I like the name. I can see it now. An effeminate wrestler who is into himself and his body. Although he can be a little ambiguous and act like he is a homosexual without ever really admitting to being one. Kind of like Pat from Saturday Night Live. Although not exactly like Pat since I don't steal ideas from anyone.)

182) Johnny Maxx - Don't know him. Never seen him. Never heard of him. Just another example of the DOI making up people. And if he is a real person, sorry Johnny. Get some more work to get your name out there. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Aponte, just because you never heard of someone doesn't mean you can't do something with him. Just repackage him in a cool gimmick like Sean Stasiak. Call him Planet Maxx or how bout make him a black guy and put him in a group that is full of black militants who feel oppressed. Only thing is, not everyone in the group can be black. Add a white guy, a Hispanic guy, a biker, an Asian. That is gold. Pure Gold. Sh*t, I should be writing this stuff down to give to Dutch and Jeff.)

181) Eddie Thomas - See Above. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: See my comments above as well. How bout the Militant Panthers as a stable name?)

180) Chris Hamrick - "Confederate" Chris Hamrick was known as being one of Simon Diamond's lackeys/wack pack members in ECW. I haven't seen him on the Indies since ECW Folded but from what I remember, he probably got better since I would rank him lower based on his work from ECW. He does get bonus points for ripping Derek Burgan a new one for his pompous review of the Shooting Range DVD on the Torch. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Simon Diamond? Sounds like a good name to me. I would......what's that Aponte? Simon Diamond is later on the list? Chris Hamrick? Who's that? Chris Ham’n’Eggar is more like it.)

179) Greg Matthews - Former Tough Enough contestant that had to quit due to a severe back injury. He had plenty of potential on Tough Enough but I do believe that the back injury has slowed him down. If not, he probably would have gotten a developmental deal ala Matt Morgan. Matthews was a CZW mainstay for a while but has not improved to the point where he is potential WWE material. As far as I know, CZW is his only fed which is unfortunate as he could be other places getting more experience. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: CZW gets an invasion angle. We get all of the Tough Enough rejects...um cast members not in WWE and have them invade and take over CZW. You can have a new member appear weekly until all 26 are in CZW. Brilliance. A bunch of non-trainer workers taking over a company. Sounds familiar but I am sure it hasn't been done before. If it had been done, I would have heard about it.)

doi_ianrotten.jpg (21878 bytes) 178) Ian Rotten - Better known as one half of Bad Breed from ECW fame. Also the "brother" of Axl Rotten and the owner of IWA-Mid South Wrestling which was known for their blood baths and is quickly becoming one of the top promotions in North America. Ian is a hardcore freak. His annual King of the Death Match tournaments have been the bloodiest and most violent events ever. He isn't much of a wrestler but as a hardcore guy, he is top notch. The man can bleed and dish out punishment like no other. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Aponte, who cares about blood? Blood doesn't sell. What would sell is if you bring in his brother Axl to the promotion. Then they can feud. Then you bring in their sister to stop them from feuding and killing each other. But then.....it is revealed that Ian used to sleep with their sister. The turn comes when it is finally revealed that SO DID AXL!!!! Nothing beats family drama!!!)

177) Abunai - A masked wrestler who wrestles similar to a Indy wrestler named Ghost Shadow that can be seen in ROH's (Revenge on the Prophecy.). Abunai is not your typical luchador. He not only uses high spots like most luchadors, but also has a technical ground based style. Originally started wrestling around the same time as the S.A.T.'s, Amazing Red, Quiet Storm, Chris Devine period however has not seen the success that they have. Should be/Would be higher on the list if he wrestled more frequently. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: I am not even going to comment. I told you, wrestling has no place for lucha libre or all that other high flying crapola.)

doi_zbarr.jpg (32582 bytes) 176) Z-Barr - CZW Regular. A solid worker who has impressed in CZW and some other feds. The main problem with Z-Barr is the problem with a lot of the guys on this list that are rated so low, not enough work. Now I do know that some of the talent on this list, wrestling is not job number 1 and that is very unfortunate since a lot of them are talented enough to be rated higher. But wrestling doesn't pay and can't be the number one income for everyone. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Exactly Aponte. Which is why you can start a stable of disgruntled Indy Workers who travel from show to show boycotting. They can claim that they want better wages, benefits and vacation packages. Then, you can feud them with the top stable of babyfaces in the promotion. At the end of their match, you can have the promoter come out, demand the ref ring the bell when one of the disgruntled workers is in a submission hold and end the match. That way, it can appear like the promoter screwed the worker. Excellent booking.)

175) Warpath - A hardcore wrestler out of UWA New Jersey. Actually, not sure if he is a strictly hardcore wrestler as I have only seen him in hardcore matches with Lowlife Louie Ramos. He could be a victim of "Bison Bravado" Syndrome where he is actually a good worker but was typecast into the hardcore division. I do not know for sure. Both of the times I have seen him, he was a bloody mess against Louie. So by those matches, I must say he is fine where he is. If he is a better worker, than he probably will move up this list. I doubt it though. (RUSSO'S THOUGHTS: Finally, we wrapped up this damn list. I can't wait to tell Burgan that I am never doing favors for him again. Anyway, Warpath, I don't even have comments on him cause I just wanted this misery to end so I can go plan my angle for TNA next week with Dusty Rhodes and Jeff Jarrett. See ya.)

Well Folks, that is it for now. Another edition down the tubes. Just for the record, you folks are going to get more in depth commentary from myself and Derek Burgan as the list goes on due to the top 100 being more well known wrestlers on the Indies with more exposure. Hope you liked Vince Russo coming in here and lending a helping hand. Also, special thanks to Derek Burgan for his comments as well. Hope you enjoyed the pictures added to this column since last week my editor decided to toss up a picture of someone who was not listed on the list. Holla if you hear me. MATT OUT!!!!




Copyright © 2005 Derek Burgan. All rights reserved.