A Typical Night on AOL
By CJ "Duff Man" Duffy
I was in a random wrestling forum the other day and someone gave me a screen name, telling me it was Bradshaw's. Thinking it was worth a shot or a laugh at least, I messaged the guy when he got online and it sounded a bit like Bradshaw.
Goosestepper69: Who's this?
CathalJD: Who's this?
Goosestepper69: I asked u 1st lol
CathalJD: I'm CJ
CathalJD: Is this Bradshaw?
Goosestepper69: don't be gay, what are you doing online?
CathalJD: I think it's Bradshaw
Goosestepper69: omg stfu queer
CathalJD: I think you're a decent champion
Goosestepper69: Shut up fatass
CathalJD: No, seriously, you're like the ultimate heel, no one likes you at all in real life or in the ring
As soon as I typed that, I got a pop-up message from woo420
woo420: Are you a wrestler?
CathalJD: Not professionally
woo420: Why are you using words like heel if you're not in the business?
CathalJD: Dude chill out and how did you know? Did Bradshaw paste it or something?
woo420: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WOOO! I'M THE 16 TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND YOU COULDN'T LACE UP MY BOOTS, WOOOO!! AND BRET HART DIDN'T DRAW A DIME, WOOOOOO!!!, TO BE THE MAN, uh, i think i just shat myself
CathalJD: Dude I'm blocking you
Then I got a message from Sharpshooter1
Sharpshooter1: Is Flair bothering you?
CathalJD: That's Ric Flair???? Who's this???
Sharpshooter1: It's Bret Hart
CathalJD: Dude you're awesome!!!
Sharpshooter1: Heh, I know. Anyway, don't worry about Flair
CathalJD: I know I just blocked him, but I didn't know it was the Nature Boy
Sharpshooter1: I know, but he won't bother anyone again
CathalJD: What did you do Bret?
Sharpshooter1: I sent him a birthday card that had anthrax in it
CathalJD: Jesus man that's harsh
Sharpshooter1: He said I couldn't draw a dime and I'm the best wrestler ever!!!!111
CathalJD: Yea but you didn't have to kill the guy
Sharpshooter1: Go f*ck yourself. I guess he signed off. Hopefully he liked his card.
Goosestepper69: u there???
CathalJD: Yeah, dude this is weird
Goosestepper69: don't be gay fatass
Goosestepper69: brb gotta get a beer
I signed off then. You guys should IM them some time, they're good for a laugh.
Copyright © 2005 Derek Burgan. All rights reserved.