Reader Submission: Kevin Grant #2

 

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Behold! Two more emails from Derek's number one fan...

Be sure to check out Kevin's first email to Derek by clicking here!
_____________________

From: "Kevin Grant" <carry.the.coffin@gmail.com>
To: <derek@gumgod.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2005 1:57 AM
Subject: Your latest attempt at humor...

has failed again. I mean who the f-ck could mess with a Super Friends
parody
combined with the single shittiest cartoon to ever exist? Oh
wait...I know...the materialistic linking, Feinstein and Gentry
sucking, not even as widely read as Kellerhack supreme, McNeill,
ubertool known as Burgan.

You are the Jeremy Borash of internet wrestling writers. You serve
absolutely no purpose and you redefine ass kissing (only difference is
he fellates Ryder, Russo, and Jarrett and you play bukkake boy for
Keller, Feinstein, and Sopolsky.

Please, please just stop "writing" for the internet. So many will be
better off for it.

Die,
Me

PS. Just when I thought you could not be more beneath contempt...you
actually use Internet Explorer! Now my belief that you are incapable
of any original thought has been cemented. You are just a complete and
utter slave to corporate c-ck aren't you?
_____________________

From: "Kevin Grant" <carry.the.coffin@gmail.com>
To: <derek@gumgod.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 5:21 PM

Just when I thought I could not detest you any more, you sink to a new f-cking low. For that tasteless joke you made about Frank Goodish's death [Editor's note: see "tasteless joke" about Bruiser Brody by clicking here], I hope everyone in your family dies in the most agonizing painful ways possible. I hope your "girlfriend" develops cancer of the cervix and never knows a minute of life without misery and suffering. Bruiser Brody was a man that revolutionized and changed the industry that your very f-cking presence mocks and debases. You have no right to even know of his life, let alone make a joke out of the tragedy of his murder. I would say you deserve to be made to lick Mark Madden's rancid a$$hole out while Patterson rapes your a$$ and Linda McMahon's rubs her blue hair cooze all over your nose, but since you proudly admit to kissing Borash's ass and you are a Feinstein c-m dumpster, you would truly enjoy all that, so I won't. Frank Goodish did nothing but greatness in his life, you have achieved nothing and provided even less, and you deserve to burn in the hell you so richly earned with your stupidity. It wont be in a shower, but I truly pray you do end up stabbed. And the knowledge that, unlike Brody, no one will care when it happens to you makes me smile.

Die,
Me
_____________________

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Copyright 2005 Derek Burgan. All rights reserved.